Funny+pee+stories ((new)) -

She closed the deal, bolted out the door without shaking hands, and barely made it to the corporate restroom. 2. The Great Outdoors and the Worst Possible Cover

She screamed, 'I CAN'T HOLD THE PEE'S LEGS! THEY ARE TOO STRONG!'

It was actually the main exit door to the hotel hallway, which slammed shut and locked automatically behind him.

In her dream, she was standing perfectly in front of a pristine, modern toilet. In reality, she was standing directly over her boyfriend's freshly organized basket of expensive winter sweaters. Her boyfriend woke up to a distinct splashing sound and turned on his phone flashlight, only to find Sarah peacefully sleeping while ruining his favorite cashmere knits. When he yelled her name, she snapped out of it, looked down, and could only whisper, "The toilet looked different in my dream." 2. The Laughter Liability funny+pee+stories

Watch these hilarious and cringe-worthy stories of bathroom emergencies and public mishaps:

: After a long night out drinking with friends, Dave stumbled into his bathroom in complete darkness, relying entirely on the toilet's glowing blue nightlight.

"My sister screamed, which woke me up mid-stream. I was standing in the kitchen light, bare-footed, staring at a drawer full of ruined produce. Ten years later, my family still buys me apple juice as a joke for every single birthday." 5. The First Date Sneeze-Pocalypse She closed the deal, bolted out the door

Increases physical movement, which can aggravate the bladder.

Hiking through a popular, wide-open nature reserve, David realized his morning coffee was demanding an immediate exit strategy. The trail was bustling with weekend tourists, and the trees were sparse.

"I finally cracked," Marcus admits. "I pulled over on a dark stretch of highway, grabbed an empty fast-food sweet tea cup, and did what I had to do while sitting in the driver's seat. It was a massive relief." THEY ARE TOO STRONG

One office worker staying late was startled by a life-sized cardboard cutout in a dark room. The jump scare was so effective they immediately wet their pants

"I woke up in the middle of the night knowing I needed to pee," Kevin says. "In my dream, I walked into the bathroom, lifted the toilet lid, and went to town. In reality, I was completely asleep."

Technology is supposed to make our lives easier, but motion-activated smart homes have a dark side. A dinner guest at a high-tech mansion slipped away to use the powder room. The bathroom featured automated lights, automated music, and an automated toilet cover. Mid-stream, the smart system decided the room was vacant.

He thought, "I'll just pull in, the noise of the sprayers will cover everything, and I can use a cup."